Someone asked about the reason why people do harm to the other person, when in fact; they actually loved so much the other person. Is there any particular reason for these types of situations? Some say they never imagined that their trust would be breached so blatantly. They get disappointed with unexpected outcome of their trust with the other person.
To my mind, it appears that in the first place, we don’t know whom to trust. We need to understand the dynamics of trust. Trust is not same as that of developing a simple relationship or a long friendship bonded by attachments. Trust builds up between people, when they get associated closely on a particular cause; say a charity work or social cause. After sufficient understanding of their inherent qualities and watching their true nature in public as well as in private, trust develops between people.
What we see outside of them is to be assessed from what they are in private. Their intentions may be good, but what happens when their behavior is unacceptable to us? whether in public or in private. The friendship may break and the Love may also break. But then we do not feel hurt badly all the time. Why? Because, in the first instance itself, we have not taken pains to develop that friendship or relationship in all cases. It hurts us only when we invested our time and after deep thinking, venture into developing the attachment with the other person. We never take each and every friendship or love seriously and therefore, we are not affected badly by the sundry quarrels between friends or relations, even if they break.
Is it lack of coherence in their behavior or lack of consistency in behavior towards us that leads to breach of trust? The answer will be difficult and it depends upon our own expectation. All the time, we expect others to behave with us and with others too, as we want. Is it not unfair to them? A friendship or love may develop in just minutes because of the inner push or urge to get something quickly, out of the situation, which may last long or not. Trust does not develop in haste.
Trust demands that we respect each other for what they are and how their behavior is and discard expectation from others. Then trust further gets strengthened. Any deviant behavior by other person is treated as normal and we do not get perturbed with their short term behavior or actions. That is true demonstration of trust.
Since there is no expectation from or by any of the parties involved, there is no haste or ill feeling among themselves. Things go on smoothly then. It is only when we want to control the outcome, attachment begins and the moment we perceive loss of control; we get disappointed, as there is no true trust. We thus need to differentiate between a relationship driven by attachments and a trust developed without any selfish intent.
Trust in Divine Master will bring every other thing in the universe close to us and we truly become trustworthy, then. Let us develop trust among the entire humanity.
********
Incorner 