We often plan a lot to do especially in our quest to achieve career goals, skills to learn and master the art of dealing with people and so on, the so called soft skills to win over people or learn from others etc to say the least if not controlling the resources. So long as we are not confronted with opposition in our way or view, we think we are on our way to conquer the circumstances if not the world. Through this march, we will use techniques such as strategy formulation, influencing, talking with others in a way they follow us including agenda fixing etc in our dealings. Having agenda per say may not be an unwanted or unnecessary thing, but in the process, we may be marred by our own accord as the discussion with others will be viewed as a win or lose situation, instead of having a meaningful dialogue for mutual learning and gain from wisdom of the people.
When we want something invigorating or input unhindered with motives, we need to engage in free discussion, and for that, we have to keep aside our desired outcome during the discussion. How do we do that? In our anxiety to hear what we want from others, we, in a subtle way, send signal to their subconscious mind our expected outcome. This often results in getting what we want unconsciously, but we will be far away from the solution to our dilemma as the incoming wisdom, if at all any, is in fact blocked by our own ignorance. This is in a way self deceit or spiraling in our own thoughts. So, we will not get the fresh input or idea from others, leave aside influencing others. In other words, our discussion becomes futile.
What we wanted in the beginning and what we got. Just ponder over.
How to come out from this vicious cycle? One way is to be just, plain and simple in our dealings with others. Then, true trust develops in our relationships. We become stress free in life and enjoy being with our true nature and then we no more need any agenda or for that matter, no more people skills are required, as the way we behave and interact with others will itself become genuine. We then do not need any certification or approval from others in our daily dealings. How beautiful the life will then be, to know practically, we need to clear off our motives and just without prejudice, see others as moving wisdom in their own standards. Life will then be, a joy always for us as well as those around us. What else is needed then? Probably, nothing.